Forget about a man, sis (or bros), instead we’ll be spending our V-Day admiring this big-ass chocolate heart from Chocolate Noir. Dim the lights, light some candles, and turn on Sinead O Connor’s classic love anthem, “Nothing Compares 2 U,” because nothing ever has or ever will come close to the sheer bliss of chocolate (especially when our single asses are all alone this year).

Rid yourself of measly boxed chocolates, and drown your single sorrows for 450LE in this monster desert (available also in dark chocolate— for the health nuts). Order it by tomorrow at the latest and don’t spend Valentine’s alone.