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What To Eat When It's Midnight And There’s Only Ketchup In The Fridge
You might risk acid reflux, but at least you won’t go to bed hungry.
Sep 07, 2024
We’ve all been there… One minute you’re in bed, the next you’re marching to the beat of your own drum on your way to the kitchen for a last-minute midnight meal. Yet you’re suddenly faced with a harrowing truth: your fridge is depressingly empty—save for that one ketchup bottle you keep forgetting to throw away and the pot of two-day-old bamya you’d rather die than revisit.
What’s there to do then? Well, the answer is quite clear. You get out your phone and start ordering. But isn’t it too late? You might ask. Well, darling, we live in a simulation, and calories are a social construct.
So without further ado, here’s what to eat…
When You’re Craving a Tried & Tested Midnight ‘Snack’...
The Fix: Shawermer
What to Get: The Mix Box
With four demurely-sized sandwiches of your choice and a pack of fries, this box scratches a very particular midnight craving itch. Plus, you’ll likely not finish the four sandwiches, so that’s technically free lunch for the day after.
When You Decide to Ignore The Recommended Daily Caloric Intake…
The Fix: Munch & Shake
What to Get: Shrooms Burger & Sweet Potato Fries
Now this is a late-night combo guaranteed to knock you out. Every now and then, we just have to treat ourselves, and Munch & Shake’s sweet potato fries (and burgers, of course) are the perfect go-to.
When You’re Pulling an All Nighter and Time Isn’t Real Anymore…
The Fix: Al Dahan
What to Get: Hawawshi & Tahina
Since you’re pulling an all-nighter, you don’t even have to worry about waking up with acid reflux! Now with that considered, you can enjoy Dahan’s signature hawawshi guilt & worry free.
When You’re Not Really Hungry But Still Crave Something Sweet…
The Fix: City Drink
What to Get: Mango Milkshake
Seeing as summer is almost over, you might as well soak up every bit of mango you can while it’s still in season.
When You’re in a Pizza and Gilmore Girls Kind of Mood…
The Fix: Roma Pizza to Go
What to Get: Funghi Ranch Pizza
Midnight contemplations often lead us down treacherous roads, like the realisation that we are turning into our parents, and nothing distracts us from that thought faster than a medium-sized pizza and 3 episodes of Gilmore Girls.
When You Realise You Haven’t Eaten All Day…
The Fix: The Super Bowl
What to Get: The Zesty Steak Bowl
The only things being tackled in these super bowls are greens, beans, and a whole lotta protein. Our bowl of choice consists of grilled beef, spiced rice, bell peppers, onions, and sweet corn.
When You’ve Finally Accepted That We Live in a Simulation…
The Fix: Garnell
What to Get: Volcano Philadelphia Fried Rolls
We’d recommend a demure and mindful eight-piece order, given it’s midnight and you don’t want to wake up with acid reflux. Sushi at midnight might sound odd, but let’s be real, we do live in a simulation.
When You’re Feeling a Little Nostalgic…
The Fix: Smiley’s Grill
What to Get: A Smiley Kids Meal
A fun-sized portion, Smiley’s Grill’s kids meal will whisk you away to the simpler times of childhood, potentially triggering an onslaught of further unpleasant midnight thoughts, but that’s a risk we’re willing to take.
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