This New Gelato Brand Might Melt Your Kold, Little Heart

This is SceneEats correspondent Fatafeet El Share’ reporting live from under my weighted blanket and a mountain of fluffy pillows, as I partake in my seasonal rewatch of ‘Love, Actually’ and dramatically bawl (à la Kim Kardashian) about my impending solo Valentine’s Day. 

Unlike all participants of the never-ending-seriously-are-you-rabbits mating season, I have zero hopes (and desire) to hitch my wagon to a rickety BYD, and instead fully plan on eating a full tub of icy treats alone. Though with BDS in full (and hopefully eternal) swing, global franchises just won’t cut it. Enter Kold Gelato. 

“We’re just three guys, who are passionate about gelato,” one of their unnamed founders, who wishes to remain mafia-level anonymous and will henceforth be referred to as The Koldfather (his name is actually Islam Mohamed, sorry I’m a detective), whispered to yours truly, “all three of us are Egyptian. Mesh bas keda, e7na masryeen awy.”

With mouth-watering and gaping-romantic-hole-filling concoctions, Kold Gelato has something on offer for most tastes, even those who are a little more vanilla (IYKYK).

If I feel like crying publicly (for attention, obviously), I might even grab a tub of their Sundae Strawberry and head to a beach somewhere, read my romantic novel (*sniffles*), look at the couples taking romantic walks (*pretends this is just sand in my eye*), watch the romantic sunset (*makes an ugly crying face*), and share my gelato with…no one.

Okay, I think I might need a minute.

Fatafeet El Share'